Lifestyle

What really happens to the families of Nigerian soldiers who die in war?

Published

Sunday, 6 April 2025, 6:01 am

Contents

The weight of sacrifice What support is promised?Bureaucracy and silence The Boko Haram years: A flood of widows and orphans The Nigerian Military needs to do better

When a Nigerian soldier dies in war, the country mourns. However, beyond the headlines, the news and military ceremonials, there’s something else that many people don’t see. That is, what happens to the families left behind?

These are the wives, children, parents and siblings who must face life without their loved one. Nigeria has fought several brutal wars over the years. From the fight against Boko Haram in the North-East, to Niger Delta missions, and more recently, peacekeeping missions abroad. These conflicts have cost thousands of military lives.

But, while we commend our fallen heroes for their sacrifice, do we really care for the people they leave behind? Do their families receive the support they deserve? Or are they abandoned once the cameras stop rolling? What happens when the shooting stops?

The weight of sacrifice

In Nigeria, joining the military is seen as a noble act. Soldiers are respected and honoured for their bravery.

But for the families of those who die in battle, that honour can come with heavy consequences.

Many widows have been left to raise their children on their own. No support from the army, no stable income and no clear information on how to access any benefits her husband may have earned.

One of the clearest examples of this neglect is the story of Bolajoko, a widow featured in a 2021 Premium Times investigation. Her husband died in active service. After his death, Bolajoko was left to fend for their children alone.

She told reporters that despite her repeated efforts to claim her late husband’s benefits, the process was long, confusing, and ultimately fruitless. “It’s been nine years since my husband died,” she said, “and I still haven’t received the gratuity we were promised.”

Her story is just one of many that prove Nigeria’s system for supporting military widows is deeply broken.

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Source: Premium Times

What support is promised?

According to the Nigerian Armed Forces policy, the families of deceased soldiers are entitled to:

Death gratuity (a lump-sum payment)
Pension benefits
Educational scholarships for children (under the Nigerian Army Welfare Scheme)
Housing support in some cases

However, many widows say these promises rarely translate into reality.

Bureaucracy and silence

For most families, navigating the military system is like running a marathon blindfolded. The process is slow, confusing, and cold.

A retired soldier, who asked to remain anonymous, explained:
“Once a soldier dies, the unit moves on. Unless the family pushes hard, they might never get anything. And even when they push, they hit brick walls.”

He added that in some cases, funds meant for families are delayed or mismanaged.

ALSO READ: Full story of how Boko Haram killed 100 Nigerian soldiers in Borno

The Boko Haram years: A flood of widows and orphans

From 2009 to date, Boko Haram’s war on Nigeria has claimed over 350,000 lives, according to the United Nations Development Programme. Among the dead are thousands of soldiers.

In 2018, the Nigerian Army set up the Fallen Heroes Support Fund to help widows and orphans. But critics say the support is inconsistent.

During the burial of 23 soldiers in Maiduguri in 2020, the then-Chief of Army Staff promised to “take care of the families.” But many of those families later told journalists they received little to no help beyond the funeral.

The lack of financial support when a loved one dies in service of their country is one issue. The emotional trauma of losing said loved one in battle is another. But perhaps most painful is the lack of closure. In some cases, the bodies are never recovered. Families are left in limbo.

ALSO READ: Why the Nigerian military hasn’t defeated Boko Haram in 16 years

The Nigerian Military needs to do better

It’s clear that the Nigerian government and military need to overhaul how they treat the families of fallen soldiers. These men and women died protecting Nigeria. The least the country can do is ensure their families are not left behind.

There must be:

A central database of fallen soldiers and their families
Direct financial transfers to widows and orphans
Legal assistance to help families access benefits
Mental health support for grieving relatives

As Nigerians, we must ask ourselves: do we truly honour our heroes if their families are allowed to suffer in silence? Honouring the dead must include caring for the living they left behind.

“A country that cannot protect the memory of its heroes is not worthy of their sacrifice.”

Until Nigeria fixes this broken system, many will keep dying for a nation that forgets them too quickly.

ALSO READ: This man survived a lightning strike seven times

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Lifestyle

How to keep your kids engaged this holiday season

Published

9 hours ago

April 5, 2025

Julie

Contents

Create a Holiday Routine Holiday-Themed Learning Try Outdoor Adventures Create a Holiday Journal Easter Talent Show or Bible Quiz

Hey, it’s the Easter holiday again—a magical time for families to reconnect and create memories that will last a lifetime. It’s a moment of twinkling lights, cozy traditions, and a welcome break from the usual routine.

But with that break often comes a challenge: how do you keep your kids happily engaged (and avoid them getting into trouble) during those long days at home?

Well, it’s doable, and that’s why we are writing this article.

This guide is packed with creative ideas and practical tips to keep your little ones entertained, learning, and connected this holiday season. Let’s get right into it.

ALSO READ: Best times for annual leave as a 9-5 worker in Nigeria

Create a Holiday Routine

Let’s start from where you should start – creating a holiday routine. A structured routine has many benefits, but the most important one is helping your child stay focused. Allocate specific times for study, play, and relaxation.

For instance, mornings can be reserved for chores and academic activities, while afternoons are for hobbies or creative play. A predictable schedule keeps your child disciplined while offering plenty of downtime to recharge.

Holiday-Themed Learning

Sneak in a bit of learning by tying educational activities to the holiday theme. Read Easter-related books to them and have them identify lessons. Try simple science experiments that they can learn from.

You can also create time to learn about holiday traditions from different cultures. Sites like Pinterest are goldmines for finding useful materials for teaching your kids. Don’t shy away from creatively inserting science lessons into their usual religious study books.

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Try Outdoor Adventures

If weather permits, bundle up and embrace the outdoors! Sledding, building sand houses, or even a family picnic can burn energy and lift moods. If you live in a warmer climate, a nature walk or backyard camping can be just as exciting.

In addition to keeping kids engaged, this can be a beautiful way to teach them to be aware of the environment. Just don’t forget to throw in useful lessons now and then.

Create a Holiday Journal

Encouraging kids to document their holiday through drawings, writings, or photos can be a wonderful way to keep them engaged while learning about the season. You can customize their journal however you want. Just make sure there is a section for:

ALSO READ: Now that Valentine’s Day is over, what’s next for your relationship?

What they did each day
New things they learned
Favourite Bible verses or Easter quotes

This quiet activity helps with creativity and literacy.

Easter Talent Show or Bible Quiz

Let the kids put on a show! Encourage them to sing, dance, recite poems, or act out Bible stories. You can even organise a small Bible quiz with prizes. It’ll entertain and educate them, and they’ll never forget the lessons learned through this means.

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Lifestyle

What you should do if you feel insecure in a relationship

Published

12 hours ago

April 5, 2025

Julie

Contents

Start with self-love Learn effective communication Stop overanalysing Always act like a new couple

We’ve all been there—moments when our relationship gets clouded with feelings of insecurity. That feeling pushes us to ask our partner where they are going, even though we already know the answer.

Does this leave you badgering them for extra attention even though you spent the entire day together? It’s even the major reason you’ll repeatedly ask your spouse about spending time with a coworker, even when they’re just friends.

A little jealousy here and there doesn’t hurt, but it becomes a problem when it gets extreme. If you ever become unsure or unconfident about your relationship because you think you’re not good for your partner, you should find a solution.

Fortunately, you can break this terrible habit. You just need to be intentional about addressing the root of the problem so you can start feeling confident in your relationship again.

ALSO READ: 5 communication tips that will make your relationship more romantic

Here are useful tips that can help you ditch the feeling of insecurity in your relationship.

Start with self-love

The main cause of this kind of insecurity is often the absence of self-love. Holding on to a harmful limiting belief, like thinking you don’t deserve love, can lead to a lack of trust, and of course, you know how important trust is in any relationship.

The first step is to identify and overcome limiting beliefs. Learn to interrupt negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. You’ll be surprised by how much security comes with improved confidence and self-love.

Learn effective communication

Communication is an important aspect of any relationship, and a lack of it can cause it to go bad. Psychologists agree that one of the best ways to stop being insecure in your relationship is to communicate effectively with your partner.

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Learn how best to communicate your feelings with your partner and have them do the same. This way, you can constantly reassure each other of your love and commitment to the relationship, leaving no room for insecurity.

Stop overanalysing

ALSO READ: 10 relationship tips men wish you knew

Although we often choose to ignore it, a large part of our insecurity comes from overthinking or overanalysing. Our minds are naturally wired to our emotions, and that’s why our thoughts can easily affect our actions. When you dwell on negative thoughts about your partner, you’ll soon find yourself lashing out at them or being too defensive.

So, you can really become more secure by learning to control your emotions. Put your partner’s actions in perspective and don’t overthink their relationship with friends or the opposite gender. It’s what normal people do, and it’ll help you build your relationship better.

Always act like a new couple

We all know how electrifying the energy in new relationships can be. Remember when you started dating your partner? You wanted to be physically close to them and learn everything you can about them. It’s natural for this spark to fade with time, and you become comfortable in habits that lead to insecure thoughts from them.

Insecurity can spring up from them feeling like you’re no longer putting effort into your relationship. So, now’s the time to bring the spark back to your relationship. Drop flattering compliments about them, and plan surprise dates when possible. You’ll be surprised by how much confidence these little acts can build in you and your partner.

ALSO READ: Long-distance relationship tips that can help you feel closer to your partner

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Lifestyle

PHOTOS: Miss Osun emerges winner of Miss World Nigeria 2025

Published

15 hours ago

April 5, 2025

Julie

Contents

Start with self-love Learn effective communication Stop overanalysing Always act like a new couple

Reigning Miss Osun Joy Mojisola Raimi has been crowned Miss World Nigeria 2025.

The beauty queen was crowned on Friday at the grand finale of the Miss World Nigeria 2025 pageant, which took place at the Federal Palace Hotel in Victoria Island, Lagos.

A total of 37 contestants from across Nigeria competed for the coveted crown, but Osun State’s Raimi came out on top and went home with the title.

The contestants showcased their elegance in various attire, including native clothes and sportswear.

ALSO READ: Who is Agbani Darego? A comprehensive biography

After the first stage, the contestants were trimmed down to 20 finalists, featuring strong contenders like Oluwatoyin Ibitoye (Miss Kogi), Shelly Usman (Miss Imo), and Mmesoma Anosike (Miss Adamawa).

The final round saw eventual winner, Raimi, face off against Miss Imo, Miss Ebonyi, Miss Abuja, and Miss Abia.

When asked about overcoming bullying, Raimi shared her inspiring story of growing up without a mother and facing harassment from her caregiver.

“As a child who grew up without a mother, I was intimidated and harassed by my caregiver who was supposed to stand in as my mother,” she said.

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“She told me I would never amount to anything. But I am here today on this world stage doing what I know how to do best. And all I can say is whatever God has destined you to be, nobody can say otherwise.”

Raimi was crowned winner by Guy Murray-Bruce, COO of Silverbird Group, who praised her composure and advocacy.

As Miss World Nigeria 2025, Raimi will represent Nigeria at the 72nd Miss World pageant in Hyderabad, India.

ALSO READ: Nigerian women who’ve won Miss World and international pageants

The pageant will be held from May 7 to 31, and the Nigerian representative will be competing against 140 other countries.