When I was a child, I longed so much to become an adult. Why? I loved the fact that adults have the freedom to do whatever they like and go wherever they want.

Unlike me, who could barely snaffle a biscuit without someone noticing, as I began to grow, things changed. Life itself began to teach me valuable lessons.

However, one of the biggest lessons life has taught me is that adulthood comes with many responsibilities. Now, it’s easy to see why people coined the slang ‘adulthood is a Scam.’

But as I switched on my laptop to write this morning, one question came to my mind: Is adulthood really a scam? Certainly not! But well, it’s close enough to it.

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Here are some lessons everybody picks up on their way to becoming full adults.

1. Salary is just a suggestion – The Unpredictable Finances of Nigerian Adulthood

Remember when you were a child and thought adults were rich because they had “a job”? Surprise! Between government taxes, transport hikes, and random bank deductions, adulthood often feels like earning money just to redistribute it to bills, siblings, and data plans.

So, as you grow, you’re forced to learn financial discipline or face the consequences of a failed adulthood. Fortunately, there are so many budgeting apps these days that can help you plan. So learn to make use of them.

2. The Myth of Independence: You Will Call Your Parents (Or Aunties) for Help

Independence sounds good until your landlord increases rent overnight or your gas finishes mid-cooking. You’ll find yourself calling your mum not for food, but for advice, prayers, and maybe a small loan alerts.

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But hey – that’s not a crime. After all, adulthood doesn’t mean isolation. It’s okay to lean on your community. Just don’t ghost them when things are rosy.

3. Career Realities: Passion Meets Nigerian Market

The dream was to be a fashion designer, writer, or game developer. But reality? You’re in customer service for a logistics company and doing makeup on weekends to keep up. But that’s not a problem. Pivoting is part of the journey. Nigerian hustling isn’t just cultural – it’s survival. Just don’t forget to rest before you burn out.

4. Mental Health Is Real, Not Just for “Oyinbo” People

From Lagos traffic stress to Abuja’s heat and PH’s constant fuel scarcity, Nigeria itself is a stressor. Combine that with societal pressure to marry, build a house, or “make it” before 30, and you can tell how quickly your mental health will begin to deteriorate.

Just find a way to protect your peace. Therapy helps, and sometimes, so does muting that cousin who won’t stop posting vacation photos on Instagram.

5. Social Media Is a Lie (Mostly)

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You see curated “soft life” posts, but you don’t see the unpaid internships, the failed jollof, or the third time NEPA killed someone’s fridge. Don’t let it make you feel like you’re failing.

Learn to run your own race and focus on it. Social media is a highlight reel, not the full movie.

Adulting in Nigeria is hard, unpredictable, and at times hilariously absurd. But it also teaches grit, creativity, and the kind of resilience that can’t be taught in school. So no, it’s not a scam. But maybe—just maybe—they could have warned us better.

We live in an age where hustle culture is glamourised, and you know what that means—our phones almost never sleep. Notifications beep, and there are unanswered messages here and there.

But with all these hustles and bustles comes the need for peace. Choosing peace can almost feel rebellious. But for a growing number of people, especially young Africans, “soft life” isn’t laziness or luxury. It’s intentional living. It’s healing. And most of all, it’s necessary.

So, how do you chase your dreams and protect your peace in a world that never shuts up? Let’s take you on a tour of the world of soft life.

What Exactly Is Soft Life?

Let’s be clear – soft life isn’t just about taking solo trips to Zanzibar (though, that sounds amazing too). It’s about:

• Emotional peace over people-pleasing.

• Balance over burnout.

• Boundaries over busyness.

A soft life is freedom from glorifying struggle. It’s about choosing joy and rest without guilt. But with this definition comes the begging question—how can you live a soft life and prioritize peace without quitting your job or going on the Zanzibar trip?

How to Live the Soft Life 

1. Romanticise the mundane

You don’t need a private jet to enjoy life. Light candles during dinner. Dress up just because. Celebrate small wins like they’re Nobel Prizes, and you’ll see how much you begin to enjoy life.

2. Filter your noise

Mute group chats. Curate your social feed. Not everyone should have access to your mind space, and you shouldn’t have access to everybody’s. So find what suits your goals and follow them.

3. Rest with intention

Sleep isn’t laziness. Breaks are part of progress. Protect your weekends like you protect your data, and find the slightest opportunities to rest. There’s nothing wrong with taking time off from work.

4. Learn the power of “No.”

You don’t need a reason to decline. “No” is a full sentence – and a soft life anthem. If they’re telling you to do something you’re not comfortable with or something that takes you out of your comfort zone without benefits, learn to say no.

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Soft Life ≠ Soft Mind

Let’s not confuse softness with weakness. The people pursuing peace are often the strongest, because they’ve had to fight the loudest noise: expectations, culture, guilt, and trauma.

Choosing peace in a world that profits from your anxiety is revolutionary.

Let’s be honest – some days hit harder than others. Whether it’s heartbreak, burnout, anxiety, or just the Mondayest Monday, it can feel like you’re walking around with the heaviest of hearts. But here’s the beautiful thing: music heals, especially worship music.

Not the kind that guilt-trips you into sainthood, but the kind that wraps around your soul like a warm blanket and whispers, “You’ll get through this.”

So here it is—my go-to worship playlist for those heavy days when peace feels far away and you just need a lifeline.

 1. “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” – Hillsong UNITED

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Let’s start with the classics. Something about that slow build, the ocean metaphor, and “Spirit lead me…” just hits differently when you feel lost. But this one reminds you that when you feel like you’re drowning, you can float again.

2. “Jireh” – Maverick City Music & Elevation Worship (ft. Chandler Moore & Naomi Raine)

This one is a declaration. That chorus – “Jireh, You are enough” – is therapy with chords. It’s an assurance of healing, even when things seem toughest. It reminds you that you don’t have to hustle for love or worth.

3. “Excess Love” – Mercy Chinwo

This one carries both vibes and power. It’s worship with a Nigerian flavour that reminds you of divine affection even in your mess.

4. “Promises” – Maverick City Music (ft. Joe L. Barnes & Naomi Raine)

When life doesn’t make sense, this song is a gentle reminder: God doesn’t ghost. Even when people do. It’s the perfect therapy for when you’re questioning everything but need one thing to hold on to.

5. “Yahweh” – Dunsin Oyekan

This song is simple, powerful, and soaked in presence. Chant-like and meditative, it’s perfect for quiet mornings or nights when sleep won’t come. It reminds you that you can rest in something bigger than yourself.

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6. “You Know My Name” – Tasha Cobbs Leonard (ft. Jimi Cravity)

This one is personal. Like someone opened your diary and turned your insecurities into lyrics. It’s an intimate worship that uplifts you when you’re feeling invisible or forgotten.

7. “Imela” – Nathaniel Bassey ft. Enitan Adaba

It doesn’t rush you. It’s slow, reverent, and full of gratitude. The kind of song you listen to with your eyes closed, hands lifted, and a quiet “thank you” in your heart.

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 8. “Not for a Moment” – Meredith Andrews

Soft, strong, and full of truth, this song is a gentle reminder that God exists and that he’s ever present for us. It tells you that even when it feels like God is silent, He hasn’t left.

Worship music isn’t about pretending everything is okay—it’s about being real and showing up anyway. These songs remind me that vulnerability is spiritual, that God can handle my silence, my questions, and my exhaustion and still love me through it.