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Situationship: Don’t be strung along; Here is how to break free in 4 ways

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Situationship Don039t be strung along Here is how to break

Situationship: Don’t be strung – Situationship: Don’t be strung…

Situationship: Don’t be strung – No one wants to…

No one wants to find themselves in a situationship. But it happens anyway. So what then do you do in that kind of situation (pun unintended)?

The first thing you need to know is that: situationships happen because one partner is—or both partners are—avoidant.

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An avoidant partner wants to feel close but not too close to their partner. They are more likely to quickly feel smothered in a relationship and push their significant other away whenever they need space. While this can create instability and reduce emotional intimacy, the irony is that avoidants attract anxious partners who tend to not know when to draw boundaries and protect themselves from the inconsistencies.

Anxious partners, until they heal and become securely attached, are stuck in the anxious-avoidant trap. They fear abandonment and will stay in an emotionally unhealthy dynamic even if they want to leave while avoidants will push partners away even if they want to experience genuinely close intimacy. And that is how most situationships are born.

For avoidants or anyone who has an insecure attachment style, it can be easy to get stuck in a loop even if you are longing to break free and finally experience an emotionally stable and healthy relationship.

The following ways can help you put things into perspective to come out of the rut.

Be candidly honest with yourself

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Be candid [Freepik]

Brutal honesty is what will cut it—not walking on eggshells or refusing to address the elephant in the room. Evaluate your (in)actions and how you have conducted yourself so far. Be as sincere as you can get. Allow yourself to be comfortable with the harsh truth staring at you.

Identify your weaknesses

It is by being honest with yourself that you will be able to identify parts of you that resonate with the unhealthy dynamic at play. If you have an unwholesome fear of abandonment that makes you insecure about relationships, note it down as well.

The reason this is necessary is so that you can address unhealed aspects of yourself. Many people settle for situationships because they have either gone through a traumatic event from a previous relationship or the primary environment in which they were nurtured or brought up had inconsistent display of affection from caregivers. In that case, they are used to the unstable push-pull dynamic.

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Speak up

Talk to them [Freepik]

Now this is where it can get a bit difficult. You’ll need to be brave enough to face the person and admit that what you have going on is unwholesome for you. They may become defensive and you need to also prepare for that.

Or they may gaslight you into thinking that it’s alright and they have feelings for you but just want to take things a bit more slowly. Understand that the conversation is not reach a middle ground per se—especially if the person is not ready to either stop stringing you along or become official. The conversation is for you: to eventually get yourself to a better place where you don’t feel less valued because someone won’t make you their official partner.

Seek help

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No, don’t talk to a family member or a friend. Get a professional to hear you out and explain what makes you naturally predisposed to insecure attachment styles. Therapy is a good place to offload the trauma and learn healthier ways to attract and maintain romantic relationships where you feel valued and seen.

Understand that you are the one in control of your life. Settling for a situationship if that is not what you want implies you are conceding authority over your own life. There’s always someone out there who will appreciate you and give you the stable dynamic you deserve.
#Situationship #Don039t #strung #break #free #ways

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Why is meat forbidden on Good Friday?

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Have you ever wondered why many Christians do not eat meat on Good Friday? They would say meat is forbidden and instead eat fish or other meals like Frejon on Good Friday. 

But why is this so on this day specifically? Well, forbidding meat on Good Friday is linked to the death of Jesus Christ. 

Good Friday is the day Christians commemorate the crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ. It is seen as a solemn day of mourning, reflection, and repentance. 

ALSO READ: What is Good Friday?

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Jesus, when he died on the cross, sacrificed his flesh and to honour him, Christians decided to refrain from eating flesh meat.

The flesh meat forbidden on Good Friday includes the meat of mammals and poultry, and the main foods that come under this category are beef, pork, chicken, and turkey. 

But then, while meat from these animals are forbidden on Good Friday, the non-flesh products of these animals are not. Things like milk, cheese, butter, eggs, and sauces made from animal fats can be eaten.

ALSO READ: There are many things you should not do on Easter

Fish is allowed to be eaten as it is seen as not belonging to the flesh meat category as the Latin word for meat – caro, applies to flesh meat and has never been understood to include fish.

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Also, fish was originally considered a “poor man’s food” and was not associated with feasting or luxury. It became an acceptable alternative because it aligned with the spirit of humility and penance.

Some also believe the apostles in the Bible who were fishermen ate fish often, reinforcing its religious symbolism. This is why you’ll often see dishes like Frejon, grilled tilapia, or catfish pepper soup on Good Friday menus, especially in Christian households in Nigeria.

It is important to note that it is not explicitly stated in the Bible that Christians should avoid meat on Good Friday.

The practice actually comes more from church tradition, especially within the Roman Catholic Church.Over time, it spread to other Christian denominations as a meaningful way to honour Christ’s sacrifice.

ALSO READ: Why do Lagosians eat frejon on Good Friday?

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5 uncommon PMS symptoms that might surprise you

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When it comes to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), most people expect the usual suspects: cramps, irritability, and mood swings.

But PMS isn’t always predictable and for some women, their PMS comes with a range of lesser-known symptoms that can be surprising and even confusing.

Here are some uncommon PMS symptoms that many women experience.

ALSO READ: How to easily remove period blood stains from sheets

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Heightened sense of smell

Some women develop a much sharper sense of smell in the days leading up to their period. Scents that usually go unnoticed like perfumes your neighbour is wearing, the food they are cooking two houses away or even body odour  suddenly become overwhelming. This heightened sense of smell is linked to fluctuating estrogen levels.

Vivid dreams and disturbed sleep

Another uncommon PMS symptom some women experience is change in sleep patterns leading to restlessness, insomnia, or extremely vivid dreams. Sleep disturbances can also intensify mood swings and fatigue during this time.

Digestive changes

PMS can also trigger unexpected digestive symptoms such as constipation, diarrhea, or excessive gas. These are usually caused by hormonal effects on the digestive tract, particularly a drop in progesterone.

ALSO READ: What it’s really like to endure the torture of period cramps every month

Depression and anxiety

While mild mood changes are common with PMS, some women experience intense emotional symptoms like sudden anxiety, sadness, irritability, or even depressive and suicidal thoughts. These emotional shifts are linked to fluctuations in hormones and in more severe cases, it may be a sign of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). 


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Bloating

For some women, abdominal bloating is common during the days leading to their period. But then, for some this bloating is taken to another level as it occurs in their face, hands and even feet. This bloating is usually due to water retention caused by hormonal shifts, particularly involving estrogen and progesterone.

Bonus symptom: Excessive farting

Three or four days after having their period, some women experience excessive farting. While this is not actually a PMS symptom, it is the end result of bloating before they had before the period. Most of that water retention bloated face leads to more gas being trapped in the intestines, and then excessive flatulence with the gas released via farting, which doesn’t smell bad by the way.

Did any of these symptoms shock you?

ALSO READ: Here is why raspberry leaf tea is good for your health as a woman

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Bet Risk-Free! ₦1000 Back If You Lose with Bet9ja and Pulse Sports

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