I divorced my wife and she left our three children with me, is that how they used to do this divorce thing?

Dear Pulse,

My marriage has packed up. It was good for as long as it was, nothing special. I was married to my wife for 7 years and we have 3 children. Somewhere in the 5th year, I lost attraction for my wife because you know how childbirth changes a woman.

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I started to cheat and she caught me several times. Anyway, we started to quarrel a lot and there were one or two violent fights before we got to the inevitable end. I initiated the divorce and maybe I expected her to fight for the marriage like women do but she didn’t. Instead, this woman packed her things and left the children with me!

Which woman does that please? Shebi they said women have an everlasting connection with their children, maternal instincts or something. I don’t think my wife has it. How can you leave all 3 children under 7 with a man? She has been gone for 2 weeks, she doesn’t care how we are coping, feeding etc.

She only calls every evening to check on the children and she will be laughing one annoying laugh. I had to beg my mother to come and help me but she is old, and there is little she can do. I wake up at 5 am for school runs and by the time I get to the office, I am so tired. I sleep for like an hour to get myself.

This woman is wicked! In a divorce, is the woman not supposed to take the children so the man will be like a bachelor, that’s what happened to my friend now, why is my own different?

— Frank.

Dear Frank,

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It sounds like you’re going through a tough and unexpected situation, and, it is understandable that you feel overwhelmed right now. Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved, and it’s clear that you didn’t anticipate this outcome.

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But let’s take a step back for a moment.

In most divorces, yes, children often stay with their mothers. However, every situation is different. Your wife may have felt exhausted—physically, emotionally, and mentally—after everything that happened in the marriage. Perhaps, after years of dealing with infidelity, conflict, and even violence, she saw leaving the children with you as the best or only option. It’s possible that she needed time and space to rebuild herself.

It’s also worth asking yourself this: before the marriage ended, who handled most of the childcare? If your wife had been the primary caregiver for seven years, she might have been dealing with burnout. Now that the roles are reversed, you’re experiencing firsthand what it takes to raise children full-time. It’s difficult, right?

Your frustration is valid, but blaming your wife may not be the best way forward. Instead, you need to focus on what happens next. Have an honest conversation with your wife. Try to understand why she made this decision instead of seeing her as wicked. Ask her what she needs and whether there’s a way to co-parent effectively.

You already have your mother assisting, but consider reaching out to other family members, hiring help, or arranging childcare if possible. You also need to adjust your perspective. Instead of seeing this as unfair, try to see it as an opportunity to bond deeply with your children. They need love, stability, and care from both parents, regardless of who they live with.

The end of a marriage is painful for everyone involved. Take some time to reflect, acknowledge your role in what happened, and work toward being the best father you can be.

— Pulse.

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Traditional medicine has been an integral part of African societies for centuries, relying heavily on plants, minerals, and animals for healing purposes.

A survey conducted between 1995 and 1998 identified rats as having medicinal and spiritual properties, making them essential in treating ailments, enhancing fertility, and offering protection against supernatural forces.

I.A. Ayodele and J.O. Fayenuwo conducted extensive research on the “utilization of rodents in traditional medicine in South-Western Nigeria“, evaluating data from Osun State.

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The objective of the survey was to comprehensively document the uses (Ethnozoogical values) of rodents in traditional medicine, and therefore the extent of rodent involvement in medicinal purposes, in order to develop management strategies for rodent conservation. 29 out of 34 rodent species were used for this experiment.

The uses (Ethonozoological values) of rodents in traditional medicine were documented through enquiries information collected from 429 farmers, hunters and traditional medicine practitioners on structured questionnaires.

Data collected include the type of rodent species used, the part(s) extracted, other ingredients, retrieval techniques and method (mode) of preparation, application and purposes of usage. Appointments were booked with the leaders of village traditional medicine practitioners (including native doctors, Alabiye-native midwives, and witch doctors) and other members including users for input into the study.

Survey Results

Some of the key rodent species commonly used for traditional medicine include:

• Arvicanthis niloticus (Nile harsh-furred rat) – 17.0%

• Cricetomys gambianus emini (Gambian giant rat) – 14.9%

• Mus musculus (House mouse) – 7.9%

• Leminiscomys striatus (Spotted grass mouse) – 7.9%

• Hybomys trivirgatus (Three-striped mouse) – 7.9%

• Hystrix cristata (Crested porcupine) – 5.1%

Each species is associated with different medicinal or spiritual functions based on local beliefs and traditional knowledge.

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How Useful Are Rats In Traditional Medicine?

Rats are used in various ways, from treating physical ailments to addressing supernatural concerns. Some common uses include:

• Treatment of Infertility: Certain rats are believed to help women conceive or prevent miscarriages.

• Healing Ailments: Traditional practitioners use them for treating gonorrhoea, pneumonia, rheumatism, liver problems, and stomach disorders.

• Spiritual Protection: Rats are used for protection against witchcraft, curses, and evil spirits.

• Enhancing Success: Some are believed to prevent failure, improve business sales, and even influence court cases.

• Love and Attraction: Rat-based potions are reportedly used to seduce or attract a desired partner.

Methods of Preparation and Application

Traditional medicine practitioners prepare rat-based remedies using various techniques, including:

• Grinding and pounding the dried body parts into powder

• Soaking and burning certain parts for medicinal or spiritual use

• Mixing with food or drink for ingestion

• Applying through incisions, licking, or rubbing on the body

Rodent parts used in preparation include the head, intestines, tail, hair, legs, heart, tongue, blood, stomach, and skin. These are often combined with other animal parts, herbs, minerals, or symbolic objects.

Concerns

A major concern is the need for scientific research to verify the medicinal properties of these rats and also a standardised processing and regulation of traditional medicine to improve safety and efficacy. A secondary concern is wildlife conservation due to the increasing reliance on rats for traditional medicine.

Many rat species are facing habitat loss and indiscriminate hunting, leading to a decline in their population. There needs to be conservation strategies to ensure the sustainable use of these species.

This is important because traditional medicine remains essential in the present day, serving as a vital healthcare option for millions worldwide. It is deeply rooted in cultural heritage and continues to provide affordable and accessible treatment, especially in regions with limited access to modern healthcare.

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Let’s be real—nothing beats a night out with your crew, great vibes, and a smooth glass of Grant’s Whisky in hand. Whether you’re looking for a lively party spot, a chill lounge for deep convos, or a scenic location to soak in the city’s energy, Lagos has it all!

To help you plan your next crew hangout, we’ve put together the ultimate guide to the best bars and lounges where you and your crew can create unforgettable moments. Plus, you can be sure to find Grant’s Whisky at these top spots!

1. Beer Barn: Where the Party Never Stops

If your crew has that high energy and non-stop vibes, Beer Barn is where you need to be! This place is always buzzing, making it a perfect place for crews that love to let loose. What to expect? Great music, a lively crowd, and, of course, Grant’s Whisky flowing all night. Get ready to dance, laugh, and create legendary memories with your squad!

2. Ibiza Lounge: The Ultimate Nightlife Experience

This isn’t just a lounge; it’s a whole experience! Ibiza Lounge blends good music, a stylish ambience, giving an upscale vibe that makes every night feel special. Whether you’re celebrating the weekend or just catching up with your crew, this is the spot to be. 

3. Lapenzo Lounge: Where Class Meets Comfort

For those who love a laid-back yet classy vibe, Lapenzo Lounge offers the best of both worlds. With an intimate setting, top-tier cocktails, and the perfect playlist to match, this is a setting that lets you truly unwind. It’s the perfect place to kick back, sip on some Grant’s Whisky, and enjoy the moment.

4. Westend (Akowonjo, Yaba & Ikeja): The Life of the Party

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With multiple locations in Lagos, Westend has mastered the art of nightlife. Known for its electric atmosphere and killer DJ sets, Westend is the go-to place for crews that love to party hard. The energy is always on a hundred, and with Grant’s Whisky cocktails in hand, your night is guaranteed to be unforgettable. If you ever find yourself in Akowonjo, Yaba, and Ikeja ensure you check it out.

5. A Steak House: For the Foodie Crews

Foodies, this one’s for you! If your crew loves great meals and fine whisky, A Steak House is the perfect place to be. Whether you’re celebrating a big win or just catching up, the delicious food and cosy setting makes it a great hangout spot. What’s a better way to enjoy Grant’s Whisky than with  good food!

6. The Wave Beach: Sunset, Sand & Whisky

If you love a good beachside experience, then Wave beach is the best place to be. Whether you’re in for a day party or a chill night by the water, this is the ultimate beachside experience. Bring your crew, soak in the scenery, and with Grant’s Whisky in hand, it could be the place to have your fondest memory. 

7. Fish Farm: A Unique Outdoor Escape

Fish Farm is the perfect spot to enjoy delicious seafood, sip your favorite whisky, and make memories with your crew in a scenic outdoor space. Whether you’re in the mood for a casual hangout or a lively night out, this spot has you covered. If you’re looking for something different, we advise you try it out. 

Lagos is packed with amazing places to hang out with your crew, whether you’re hitting up a high-energy lounge, a cosy bar, or a scenic beach spot, there’s a perfect place for every crew in Lagos. And the best part? You can enjoy Grant’s Whisky at all these top locations. So, gather your crew, pick a spot, and make every night out one for the books! Cheers to unforgettable moments and even better company! 

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