As a parent, connecting with your child at the end of each school day should be more than just a casual conversation. It should be a valuable opportunity to strengthen your bond, understand their emotional world, and support their growth.

Rather than settling for the typical “How was school?” which often gets a one-word answer, asking intentional questions can open up meaningful dialogue. Here are 9 important questions to ask your child after school, and why they matter:

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1. What was the best part of your day?

Starting with a positive question encourages your child to reflect on what went well. It teaches them to focus on gratitude and optimism. You also get insight into what they enjoy most, whether it’s a subject, a friend, or an activity. This question fosters a positive mindset, emotional awareness, and helps parents celebrate their child’s small wins.

2. Was there anything that made you feel upset, confused, or sad?

Children won’t always volunteer negative feelings unless they feel safe doing so. This question gives them permission to share difficult emotions without judgment. It’s a powerful way to show that all feelings are valid and worth discussing. This question builds emotional intelligence, strengthens trust, and allows parents to offer comfort or guidance.

3. Did anything happen today that made you feel proud?

This question encourages children to recognize their own efforts and accomplishments. It shifts the focus from external rewards to internal validation and helps build confidence in their abilities. It would boost their self-esteem and promotes self-awareness.

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4. Who did you spend time with today?

Understanding your child’s social circle gives you a window into their friendships and peer dynamics. It also opens up conversations about values, inclusion, and how they’re navigating social interactions. This question will help you identify positive (or negative) influences in your child’s life.

5. Was there anything that happened today that made you laugh?

Asking about funny moments helps children relive joy and reinforces happy memories. It also gives you a glimpse into their sense of humor and what brings them happiness. This question would lighten the mood and foster a deeper emotional bond.

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6. Did you help anyone today or did someone help you?

This question instills empathy, gratitude, and awareness of others. It highlights the importance of kindness, cooperation, and being part of a supportive community. It reinforces values like generosity and teamwork, and helps children reflect on the give-and-take of relationships.

7. What’s something new you learned today?

This question brings attention to your child’s intellectual development and shows that you’re interested in their academic experiences. This promotes curiosity, academic confidence, and engagement with learning.

8. What was the most challenging part of your day?

Discussing challenges helps normalize struggle and shows your child that difficulty is part of growth. It also creates space to talk about how they approached the problem or how they might do so next time. This builds resilience, encourages critical thinking, and provides an opportunity for parental guidance.

9. If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?

This reflective question helps children evaluate their experiences and think about what they’d do differently. It teaches accountability, self-awareness, and the power of choice. This develops critical thinking and problem-solving skills while empowering children to learn from their experiences.

These daily conversations let your child know they’re seen, heard, and loved. Over time, they’ll open up more easily, trust more deeply, and feel more confident navigating life with you by their side.

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If you’ve ever attended an African family gathering, you’ve likely encountered the unstoppable force known as the “African Auntie.” She’s usually a woman of wisdom, who’s known for the plentiness of their unsolicited advice.

They almost always think nobody’s life is complete without a spouse and a child. So, they’ll come at you with the question “when will you marry?”

If you’re a Nigerian adult (especially female, let’s be honest), this question is more inevitable than PHCN taking light. No matter how successful, brilliant, or peaceful your life is, there’s always that one aunt who treats your relationship status like it’s her prayer point.

The question is, how do you handle this annoying question without coming off as disrespectful? Here’s an ultimate guide that suggests many cool ways to deal with it. Let’s get right into it.

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The Polite Deflection

They’re your aunties and maybe uncles. Of course, we all know better than to be rude or disrespectful in this kind of relationship. So, it’s often better to choose the polite route. Smile sweetly and say:

“God’s time is the best.”

It’s vague. It’s diplomatic. It makes them pause – because who can argue with divine timing? It buys you several more months until the next family meeting.

Hit Them With the Reverse Psychology

Turn the table gently with:

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“Ah aunty, you haven’t found someone for me yet?”

This strategy always works because it leaves them with a realization that you’re also their responsibility. If you can’t get a suitor yourself, they should help you find one. So, they begin to scan all their memories for the names of the children of their rich friends. Use this as a cue to find your escape route before they turn to guilt tripping.

Use Career as a Human Shield

For those who want a more serious tone, try:

“Right now I’m focusing on building my career/business/spiritual growth.”

Say it with confidence and a small smile. While they want you to start a family, they also respect ambition. So they’ll likely calm down and let you be for the meantime. At least, you’ve bought yourself some meaningful time.

Drop the “Soft Drag”

This is for advanced players. Try a light jab cloaked in sweetness:

“Aunty, you married early, but did that stop your husband from stressing you?”

Then laugh and change the topic. This one’s risky but extremely satisfying if timed right. It doesn’t only jolt them back to reality, it is also a gentle reminder that you’re now old enough to think for yourself.

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Quote the Economy

Blame the economy – because honestly, it deserves it.

“I’m still trying to afford my own rent, how will I now pay bride price?”

This one usually earns a round of understanding nods or a silent stare of defeat. They know the economy is bad, and they’re not even ready to contribute. So they’ll likely leave you before you ask them to sponsor your wedding.

In Nigeria, lectures, studies, and assignments characterise campus life, and a sprinkle of romance here and there. Did you really attend a Nigerian tertiary institution if you didn’t try love?

I mean, it’s like a six-unit course that must be completed. But while campus love is a thing of dreams, beauty, and butterflies, there is a raging debate about which is truer between campus love and real-life dating.

Which one is scarier between the concepts? Hold on and walk with me as I unpack the romance rollercoaster that is Campus Love vs. Real World Dating—and why both come with their kind of wahala.

The Vibes Are Different

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Campus Love feels like a Netflix romance blockbuster. You meet during group assignments, flirt at the library, or lock eyes in the reading room, pretending to be focused. At this point, life is simpler, and so, love is vibey. No rent, no fuel price stress – just vibes and vibes alone, with the one your soul longs for.

Real World Dating, on the other hand, is like LinkedIn meets. Before you even plan a date, you’re running background checks, dealing with trust issues, and asking existential questions like: “What exactly are we?” You may as well sign in with a therapist before you begin.

Money Matters

In campus love, being broke is part of the experience. You both eat Gala and Coke, walk instead of taking a keke, and “Netflix and chill” is often just “laptop and vibes.”

In real-world dating, being broke? A red flag. Dates now involve fine dining, Uber fares, and surprise birthday gifts. Financial stress becomes a third wheel in your relationship, and we all know how burdensome that can become, especially if you’re still struggling to find your footing.

Commitment and Intentions

Campus relationships can feel deeply emotional, but many don’t survive graduation. Once NYSC or job hunting kicks in, so does the ghosting.

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In the real world, people either want marriage, vibes, or something in between – and figuring out which one can take months. One moment you’re planning baecations, the next thing you’re begging your partner to explain what they mean by saying they don’t want anything serious.

So, Which One Is Scarier?

Honestly? Both.

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Campus love is scary because it’s intense but temporary. It feels like forever until it isn’t.

Real-world dating is scary because it’s slow, cautious, and emotionally expensive. You’re older, wiser, and maybe a little more tired.

But here’s the beauty: both teach you something. Campus love shows you your capacity for butterflies. Real-world love shows you your capacity for boundaries and growth.