Can we all agree that parenting in Nigeria comes with an unspoken rulebook, passed down through generations? Because there’s no way you can tell us that they didn’t all attend the same prestigious School of African Parenting, complete with standardised threats and guilt trips.

We’ve all heard the legendary “I’ll flog the stubbornness out of you” delivered with that special Nigerian parent glare, or the emotional “After all I’ve sacrificed for you” guilt trips. These parenting rules have been passed down. 

But just because something is so normalised doesn’t mean it’s right. In fact, some of these rules do more harm than good, leaving emotional scars that last long into adulthood.

Let’s take a look at some Nigerian parenting rules that, quite frankly, need to be retired. This isn’t about disrespecting our parents; they did what they knew with the tools they had. But can we learn from their mistakes and do better for the next generation?

1. Children should be seen, not heard

There’s an unspoken rule in many Nigerian homes: children are to be quiet, obedient, and never question authority. Speak up? “Keep quiet before I slap you!” Express an opinion? “Who asked you?” Cry when you’re hurt? “Shut up!”

This rule teaches children that their feelings, thoughts, and voices don’t matter. A child who is constantly silenced grows into an adult who struggles to speak up, whether in relationships, at work, or even in defending themselves. They learn to swallow their pain, suppress their emotions, and avoid “causing trouble,” even when they’re being wronged.

A better way? Let children express themselves, even when it’s inconvenient. Teach them how to communicate respectfully instead of punishing them for having a voice.

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2. If you’re not first, you’re a failure

In Nigeria, coming second is not an option. Parents proudly declare, “My child must be the best!” Report cards are scrutinised like court verdicts, and anything less than an A is met with “What is this? Do you want to end up a bus conductor?”

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But this pressure doesn’t create excellence, it only creates anxiety. Kids grow up terrified of failure, equating their worth with their grades. Some resort to cheating just to avoid punishment. Others develop crippling perfectionism, never feeling “good enough” no matter how much they achieve.

Worst of all? It kills creativity. A child who is only praised for coming first will never take risks, explore new ideas, or discover their true passions. They’ll just chase validation.

Parents should learn to celebrate effort, not just results. A child who tries their hardest but gets a B is not a disappointment; they’re learning. And learning is what childhood is for.

3. The cane solves everything

The Nigerian parents’ favourite “teaching tool”: the koboko, belt, slipper, or “anything within reach.”

The logic is that their parents used the same method and they ‘turned out fine.’ Unfortunately, that’s false. If you think violence is the only way to teach, you didn’t turn out fine.

Yes, discipline is necessary. But there’s a difference between correction and trauma. When a child is beaten for every mistake, they don’t learn why something is wrong, they just learn to avoid getting caught. Worse, they grow up associating love with pain, believing that hurting someone ‘for their own good’ is normal.

Ever noticed how many adults flinch when someone raises a hand too quickly? Or how some parents laugh about “the time I beat my child so hard the cane broke”? That’s not discipline, it’s unresolved trauma.

Discipline should teach, not terrorise.

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4. My child, my retirement plan

Nothing hits harder than the classic Nigerian parent line: “After all I’ve done for you!” Many of us were raised with the unspoken expectation that we must pay back our parents’ sacrifices, financially, emotionally, and even by sacrificing our own dreams.

Want to study art instead of medicine? “After all the school fees I paid?!” This mentality turns parenthood into a transaction, and children into lifelong debtors.

Kids don’t owe their parents for raising them. Parenting is a choice, not an investment scheme. Support your child’s dreams, and if they choose to help you later, let it come from love, not guilt.

5. “Parents never apologise” 

In Nigerian parenting, admitting fault is seen as a weakness. The unspoken rule is clear: Parents don’t owe explanations, let alone apologies. 

This creates a dangerous dynamic where children learn that authority figures are never wrong, a problematic lesson in a world where everyone, including parents, makes mistakes. 

What’s fascinating is how selectively some parents quote Scripture. They’ll emphatically cite “Children, obey your parents” (Ephesians 6:1), but conveniently ignore the very next verse that commands: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger…” (Ephesians 6:4).

Children who internalise that they don’t deserve accountability breed resentment that lasts into adulthood. A simple “I was wrong, I’m sorry” doesn’t weaken parental authority. After all, if we expect children to apologise for their mistakes, shouldn’t we lead by example?

Let’s raise kids who feel heard, not silenced.

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Once upon a time, to hear your pastor preach, you had to dress up, grab your Bible, and find your way to church, rain or shine. Fast forward to now, and all you need is data and a decent phone. 

Nigerian churches have now gone digital — from YouTube sermons and Instagram Lives to TikTok snippets and full-blown church apps, let’s just say, they didn’t come to play.

What started as a way to stay connected during the pandemic has now evolved into a multimillion-naira industry.

And the churches doing it best have figured out a way to turn content into currency. So, how exactly are pastors, prophets, and apostles making money online? Is it a bad thing? Or just smart ministry in the digital age? 

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YouTube monetisation is a real thing, and it pays

If your church has a YouTube channel with regular uploads, chances are, it’s making money, especially if it has more than 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 hours of watch time. That’s all YouTube needs to start placing ads on videos.

Now, think of churches like Salvation Ministries, Dunamis, and The Fountain of Life Church. Their sermons regularly pull tens of thousands, sometimes hundreds of thousands, of views. Some even post daily. 

With YouTube ads paying anything from $1 to $10 per 1,000 views (depending on niche and country), it adds up very quickly. And if you add sponsorships and donation buttons, you’re looking at millions in revenue!

Sermon snippets are now viral content

Gone are the days when sermons were two-hour DVDs sold at church bookshops. These days, all you need is a 45-second clip with good lighting, clean editing, and a catchy caption, and boom! Your pastor is trending on TikTok or IG Reels.

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And with virality comes influence, and influence brings money. Pastors now have teams handling their content strategy. Some even hire digital marketing consultants to help them “package” the Word. 

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3. Offerings and tithes now go through payment links and church apps

Digital giving is a game-changer. You can now sow a seed, pay your tithe, or “partner with the ministry” without leaving your house. Some churches have mobile apps where you can stream live services, get devotionals, and yes, give at the tap of a button.

Churches like COZA, RCCG, and House on the Rock have embraced this big time. Some even include QR codes on screen during services. With thousands watching from around the world, even small donations add up fast.

One media executive from a popular Lagos church once hinted that “digital donations now contribute more than 60% of total offerings,” and that was before 2020.

4. Merch, memberships & monthly subscriptions

Hoodies, mugs, notebooks, oil, wrist bands, and digital products too, like eBooks, devotionals, and private Zoom classes.

Some churches even offer online discipleship programs that require registration fees.

For example, prophetic classes, mentorship programs, and prayer circles are now offered via paid subscription models. A church can have 5,000 people paying ₦5,000 monthly for a 4-week program. That’s ₦25 million a month. 

Let that sink in.

Is this a bad thing? Let’s be honest

A lot of people roll their eyes when they hear churches are making money online. But should they be broke? Maybe not. Churches that invest in media are just moving with the times.

Of course, there are questions about transparency and how the money is spent, and that’s totally valid. But the real issue isn’t that churches are making money, it’s whether they’re being accountable with it.

So next time you see a sermon trending, just know, it’s not just the Spirit moving. It’s also the algorithm. 

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Money comes in, and just like that, it disappears. Poof. You check your bank app and as yourself, “Wait, who spent this money? Was it me?” Sounds painfully familiar?  

What you might not realise is how often we spend on small, seemingly insignificant things. Individually, they don’t feel like a big deal, but over time? These things add up. 

We spend mindlessly, and before we know it, those sneaky little expenses drain our accounts, slowly but steadily.

In a country where the economy is basically on vibes and survival mode, every naira matters. So, let’s call ourselves out a bit, shall we? 

If any of this sounds like you, no judgment, just adjust.

1. Constantly buying “small” data bundles

You buy ₦500 data every other day, thinking it’s small. But do the math; ₦500 every 2 days is about ₦7,500 a month. And that’s if you’re lucky. Some people spend more.

Instead of small, frequent bundles, many telcos offer bigger, more cost-effective plans. But because you’re streaming YouTube sermons without Wi-Fi, you keep buying small chunks, and wasting money. A monthly plan or home Wi-Fi might feel like a lot upfront, but it saves you long term. Trust.

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2. Emotional spending on food & drinks

You’re sad, so you order pizza. You’re happy, so you order shawarma. You’re bored? Hello, ice cream. 

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Food delivery apps, restaurants, and random street cravings are one of the biggest low-key money drainers. It’s not just the food itself, it’s the delivery fees, the extras, and the “let me just add one drink” mentality.

Eating out or ordering in once in a while is fine, but when it becomes your coping mechanism or weekend routine, your wallet starts to feel it.

Try meal prepping, eating at home, or gasp learning to cook that one thing you always buy. 

3. Buying things to “feel among”

This one is for the soft life crew. You saw your friend rocking the latest sneakers, so you bought one too, even though rent is knocking. You booked that “staycation” because your fave influencer did it, even though your fridge is empty.

Social pressure is real, especially online. But trying to keep up with lifestyles you can’t afford is a fast-track ticket to being broke and stressed. Nobody’s saying don’t enjoy life, but ask yourself: is this spending for me, or for them?

Learn to admire without acquiring. Sometimes, looking is enough.

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4. Subscribing to everything but using nothing

Let’s talk subscriptions. Netflix. Spotify. Apple Music. Showmax. YouTube Premium. And that fitness app you’ve never opened. You’re subscribed to five platforms but only actively use one.

The worst part? Some people even forget they subscribed, and those silent monthly debits just keep deducting. That’s your money, doing absolutely nothing.

Take a moment to review your subscriptions. Cancel what you don’t use. Or better still, share accounts with friends or family. You don’t need everything, and you definitely don’t need to pay for what you’re not using.

5. Over-reliance on Bolt/Uber/ride-hailing

Yes, public transport can be chaotic, but that Bolt habit? It’s eating your funds. A ₦3,000 trip here, a ₦5,000 ride there, and by the end of the week, you’ve spent more than your weekly feeding budget on rides alone.

Sure, sometimes it’s necessary. But a little planning, like walking short distances, carpooling, or even taking public transport, can seriously cut your transport costs.

Being mobile is nice. Being broke? Not so much.

Life is hard enough in Nigeria. Don’t let your spending habits make it harder. Cut back where you can and spend wisely. 

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